Whatcha textin bout Willis?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
