Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
