i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize