i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
