you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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