it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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