I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
