Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize