I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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