The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
