I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
