Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
