Its about making memories worth repressing
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
