I got chris browned last night
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
