We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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