oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
