you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
