And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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