there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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