So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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