i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
