I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
