We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
