Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
