One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
