hotel room ftw
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
