and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
