New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
