PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
