you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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