It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
