I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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