he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
