I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
