apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
