member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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