Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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