So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize