Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
