About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
