u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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