Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
