Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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