called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
