Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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