jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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