If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can tuck mytits in my pants
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize