She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
