I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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