flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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