Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
