Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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