I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
