He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
