3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
