just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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