i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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