Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
