I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You have to summon your inner elephant
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
