I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
