It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
