turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
