As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You're like the curious george of whores
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
