Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
