Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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