Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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