I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
