Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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