no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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