I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
