Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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