I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize